Spin Cycle is Escape Collective’s news digest, published every Monday and Friday. You can read it on this website (obviously) or have it delivered straight to your inbox. You can sign up here.
Hello!
Welcome back to Spin Cycle! Escape Collective’s news digest.
I am writing this edition on the train from Mulhouse (don’t bother going there) to Paris for stage 21 of the Tour de France Hommes. There is an old man snoring very loudly, someone else has impossibly bad body odour, Caley is watching Venga Boys music videos to try and find the exact song Thibaut Pinot’s fans were singing on the Petit Ballon, Kate has her headphones in and so has very loudly announced to the entire carriage that Jonas Vingegaard is going to be riding the Vuelta. It’s the perfect summation of this past month. We’ve had an absolute blast covering the race this year, and writing and podcasting in between covering vast tracts of French motorway and sampling enough bread, cheese, and meat to give gout to someone from the 13th century (more on that in a bit).
Of course, none of that would have been possible without all of you, the members of Escape Collective. At no point this July was it lost on us that we could very well have been sat at home watching the Tour on television. It is an immense privilege that you decided to back us and make this whole thing a reality. We hope you’ve had as much fun as we’ve had.
Right, onto a slightly slimmed-down version of Spin Cycle as our bodies and minds creak towards the Champs-Élysées, the main crux of which is the list of stories from this Tour de France that we deemed too inappropriate to see the light of day.
✏️ The stories too hot even for independent media (AKA, either they were too dumb or we didn’t get around to writing them) ✏️
We spent a day getting high on the caravan
A nameless colleague in the press room somehow managed to smuggle a bunch of weed gummies across international borders and we briefly toyed with the idea of booking a ride on the Tour caravan and taking a bunch of them before getting on for the stage. The plan quickly fell apart when we remembered 1) spending an entire stage of the Tour on a caravan float is the exact opposite of fun 2) we have a nascent brand worth protecting and 3) drugs scare us.
Deciding who the 176 Tour de France riders would be in the 13th century
Tour Daily podcast listeners will likely be bored stiff by our fascination with matching members of the peloton with roles in an imagined 13th century world where they exist. Victor Lafay the pikeman who gets an arrow through the neck while doing nighttime guard duty, Jonas Vingegaard the sickly boy prince, Benoît Cosnefroy the young boy who hides under the apple cart and watches both of his parents get slain by marauding invaders. You get the gist. We reckon there’s a medieval story behind each and every one of the Tour’s riders. But would the time be worth it? It’s probably a no. One to put into the maybe-for-the-offseason pile.
The Wielerflits boys must be stopped
There is a Dutch cycling news website called Wielerflits who publish an impossible number of stories in an impossibly quick amount of time. If you spot one of their reporters in a post-race scrum, you know it’s not worth getting involved, as they will have the quotes up on their website before you’ve even had the chance to walk back from the buses to the press room.
It is an exquisite work ethic, and an invaluable tool for the rest of the dossers on the circuit. But at some point, surely, they must be stopped. This cannot continue. Someone must stop the Wielerflits boys. For their own good, if anything. The suggestion was met with vacant yet exhausted expressions from Iain and Caley. In conclusion, the Wielerflits boys will be continuing just as they were.
We asked David Gaudu’s girlfriend how good a kisser he is out of 10
When I suggested this idea to my colleague Iain, the reporter who first uncovered Gaudu’s proclivity for public snogging post-Tour de France stage (although apparently Luke Rowe has mentioned on his podcast he’s seen them being inappropriate in an airport before), he didn’t see the need for it, as had already made a qualitative assessment on the matter.
“He looked quite accomplished,” Treloar said. “As did she. They looked like they knew what they were doing.”
Mystery solved, then.
? A pair of shoes to give Safety Joggers a run for their money ?
“We might not see them today on the podium,” Escape Collective member Matthew Field writes in. “But maybe in the awkward off-season photoshoots Lidl-Trek could be revealing some new off-bike gear. I saw these in the middle aisle today, along with some other Lidl clothing merch including a bucket hat to rival EF.”
Middle-aisle mediocrity is why we love Lidl. And these shoes are clunky enough to make the Safety Joggers aficionados over at Soudal Quick-Step swoon. At the same time, we are having absolutely no trouble picturing Mads Pedersen in a pair on the podium.
And then, as we were walking off the Champs-Élysées, we bumped into another EC member ‘chistoledebristol’ who was trying to gain entry to the Champs and his on-brand outfit was rewarded with an invite from the team he was representing.
Feed Zone ?
⏱️ Tadej Pogačar and Anna Kiesenhofer will be competing in the new European climbing time trial championships next week on the Swiss St. Gothard Pass: 13km long with an average gradient of 7%.
? The Tour de Tietema boys have raised €8,500 for Justdiggit, the environmental charity supported by Gino Mäder.
? Filippo Ganna won the bunch sprint in the opening stage of the Tour de Wallonie.
? Michael Woods left it late but set the highest speed of this whole Tour de France, reaching 110.1km/h on the descent of the Petit Ballon on stage 20.
? Mikel Landa has publicly stated he’s open to the idea of his rumoured transfer to Soudal Quick-Step.
? Uno-X’s boss, Jens Haugland, has written a blog post about how crazy the transfer market is getting, saying he is in favour of introducing a WorldTour salary cap or budget restrctions.
? Lotto-DSTNY’s Victor Campenaerts has been voted the most combative rider of the 2023 Tour de France (Jasper Philipsen’s elbowing technique was not included on the shortlist, unfortunately).
Madiot has the final word
While Richard Plugge doubled down on being the biggest bore at the Tour…
…Marc Madiot was burying him and his vibe with just a cardboard cutout during the Dutch team’s victory laps around Paris.
Cycling on TV ?
Tuesday
Tour de France Femmes avec Zwift, stage 3
GCN+ (10:00-13:00 ET/15:00-18:00 BST/00:00-03:00 AEST)
Coverage also available for American viewers on Peacock premium
Tour de Wallonie, stage 4
GCN+ (11:20-13:20 ET/16:20-18:20 BST/01:20-03:20 AEST)
Wednesday
Tour de France Femmes avec Zwift, stage 3
GCN+ (10:00-13:00 ET/15:00-18:00 BST/00:00-03:00 AEST)
Coverage also available for American viewers on Peacock premium
Tour de Wallonie, stage 4
GCN+ (11:20-13:20 ET/16:20-18:20 BST/01:20-03:20 AEST)
Thursday
Tour de France Femmes avec Zwift, stage 3
GCN+ (10:00-13:00 ET/15:00-18:00 BST/00:00-03:00 AEST)
Coverage also available for American viewers on Peacock premium
Tour de Wallonie, stage 4
GCN+ (11:20-13:20 ET/16:20-18:20 BST/01:20-03:20 AEST)
Friday
Tour de France Femmes avec Zwift, stage 3
GCN+ (10:00-13:00 ET/15:00-18:00 BST/00:00-03:00 AEST)
Coverage also available for American viewers on Peacock premium
Tour de Wallonie, stage 4
GCN+ (11:20-13:20 ET/16:20-18:20 BST/01:20-03:20 AEST)
? Please just leave Eddy Merckx alone now quote of the week ?
“He is definitely the deserved winner.”
A big thank you to Eddy Merckx, who of course has to sign off on the final Tour de France general classification before the overall victor can be decided. Jonas Vingegaard breathes a deep sigh of relief.
And finally…
You may be feeling like this now the Tour Hommes is over…
…but now it’s time to watch the Tour de France Femmes avec Zwift! Kate Wagner will be joining Matt de Neef and Abby Mickey Skujina on the ground in Clermont Ferrand to write and podcast about this fourth week of Tour action. Consume and enjoy it!
? Send us yer laundry pics ?
We snapped today’s photo in Saint-Gervais Mont-Blanc at the Arkéa-Samsic bus. Regular service will soon be resuming featuring your photos from all over the world.
As always, we are accepting your own laundry photos (especially ones with the doors open so we can Photoshop riders inside the drum) to star in Spin Cycle. Either send them via the Discord or shoot me an email: [email protected]
Until next time …
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