Introduction
In October 2023, Escape Collective‘s Iain Treloar published what would go on to be the first in a loosely-linked series of ‘tangents’: a dialogue between a trio of marketing professionals at a garden supplies firm, looking to buy a beer bike as a marketing strategy.
Over the months since, characters from that article would go on to appear in other articles – discreetly at first, as a kind of hidden Easter egg for attentive readers. By December, however, Matt de Neef had coined the cluster of stories ‘the Iain Treloar Cinematic Universe’ – ITCU for short – and the series continued to take shape.
This page tracks the stories and characters in the constantly expanding fictional series.
Quicklinks
Timeline
First article: What if we buy a beer bike?
- Introduced us to Paul, Tim, and Chad at Apex Garden Supplies
- Also met Deb in accounts (Iain, in comments)
- Also met Conrad in litigation (Steve Salas, in comments)
Second article: So you dressed as your favourite pro cyclist this Halloween
- Chad turned up, spewing next to a grotty grotto
- Cody, friend of a friend of Chad’s, makes an appearance
Third article: How to gracefully navigate clichéd conversations about cycling this Thanksgiving
- Paul is someone’s uncle
- Tim referenced by Paul as “cycling nut” who rides 30km on Saturdays
Fourth article: Five dumb products some PR company wants me to tell you about
- Paul returned, now working for Bill Shit PR
- Met Janice, also at Bill Shit PR
Fifth article: Inside the Alpecin-Deceuninck kit design meeting
- Chad is now living and working in Brussels at a design/marketing agency
- Welcome to Joop and Louis, his seniors at the company
Sixth article (ITCU adjacent): Won’t somebody think of the supermarket shopper this Vuelta?
- Chad discovered in the sparkling water aisle of a supermarket in Spain, nursing a nasty hangover following the dissolution of his relationship with his Belgian girlfriend. (Raphaël, in comments)
Seventh article: Won’t someone think of the human toll of Amazon Prime Day?
- Chad has now returned to the US after his European visa expired. We meet him again at a generic sports bar in a large American city, where he is comforting his friend Dan – a junior cycling journalist who is fuming about having spent his entire day writing bad ecommerce content for Amazon Prime Day.
Eighth article: Who wants a horrible Tour de France Christmas sweater?
- Chad has been recommended by his former colleagues at the Brussels design agency to consult on a range of Tour de France merchandise.
- He offers bad guidance on international design trends, leading a nihilistic junior designer (Nicolas) to spitefully create a TdF ‘pride’ hoodie and horrendous Christmas jumper.
Characters
Paul
- Was the CMO at the garden accessories wholesaler, Apex Garden Supplies
- Late 40s, looks older
- Rollerblading enthusiast
- Can be dismissive of his staff
- Curious about how pro cyclists pee on the bike
- Also reckons cyclists should pay rego, ride single file or on the footpath etc (same link above)
- Moved to Bill Shit PR after Apex Garden Supplies went into bankruptcy
Tim
- Paul’s 2IC in marketing at Apex Garden Supplies
- 30s, sloppily dressed
- Bit of a bike nut – rides around 30 km every Saturday
Chad
- Marketing coordinator at Apex Garden Supplies
- Shark tooth necklace and bangles from Thailand
- Loose unit, Aussie larrikin, surfer bro, loves a shaka, has a wife, maybe wanted a threesome with some German backpackers
- Favourite band is Imagine Dragons
- Spotted spewing next to a spooky grotto across the street at 7pm at a Halloween party (he went to visit his friend in the States who is over there for college on a baseball scholarship)
- By story five he has broken up with his wife
- Had a tryst with one of the German [sic. Belgian] backpackers while on a European Con Tiki tour ‘finding himself’. Now they are together
- Now lives in Brussels on a working/holiday visa. His new girlfriend’s dad is reminiscent of Patrick Lefevere and not a fan of The Chad.
- In the twilight of his ‘jetski fuckboi’ era
- Favourite beer is Great Northern
- Vapes.
Chad’s unnamed Belgian backpacker girlfriend
- Met Chad in Bali
- Attended his wedding to his ex-wife
- Rekindled the flame when Chad went on his world tour of self-discovery
Her dad
- Looks like Patrick Lefevere
- Does not like Chad
- Has a “handshake like a vice”
Deb
- Worked in accounts at Apex Garden Supplies
- Keeps a tight rein on finances, but was persuaded by Chad’s idea for a beer bike
The Beer Bike
- Purchased as a promotional item for PlantFest 2023 Garden Convention, Cairns
- Was delayed at customs, meaning that the Apex Garden Supplies team scrambled to wow clients with a run of mousemats. This did not adequately impress, and Apex Garden Supplies ended up going out of business
Conrad
- Litigation team at Apex Garden Supplies
- Wet blanket – “truly the most risk-averse dude in the gardening industry”
Janice
- Works at Bill Shit PR
- A bit shit at her job
- “No, Janice, not the one who did Lost in Translation. He’s her dad. A film-making dynasty? Uh, yeah, I guess so. What? No, I don’t have time to rank the Godfathers. Just send the email to the bicycle list.”
- “pretty junior role [at Bill Shit PR], pretty big cinephile but not enough to know the difference between Francis Ford Coppola and Sofia Coppola” – Iain
Cody
- Cody is best friend of person attending Halloween party dressed as Jonas Vingegaard
- Knows Chad tangentially – friend of his friend on the baseball scholarship in the US
Louis
- Managing director of Brussels design agency Chad is now working at
- Wears smart casual: button-up shirt and fitted jeans with Eddy Merckx trainers
Joop
- Senior designer. Extreme hipster and lifelong cycling fan
- Wears thick-rimmed glasses and a little beanie that doesn’t cover his ears
- Design plagiarist
- Rolls his own little cigarettes
Dan
- Junior cycling journalist, writing mediocre gift guides/Amazon Prime Day/Black Friday listicles to keep the lights on. Not happy about it. A bit of a nasty drunk.
Nicolas
- Works as a junior designer at Amaury Sports Organisation, the owners of the Tour de France.
- Lives in an apartment he can barely afford in the 13th Arrondissement.
- Loves to vape and drink terrible coffee.
Valentin
- Nicolas’ dim-witted colleague at the ASO.
Jean-Luc
- Mid-level manager in the sales and marketing department of the ASO. Valentin and Nicolas report directly to him.
- Easily awed by Chad, the Australian consultant.
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