At risk of stating the obvious, the Tour de France is an amazing experience; if you get the chance, go. But among the superlatives, one thing it does not have is ease. There are layers of challenges that might present themselves to the Tour de France follower, ranging from linguistic and cultural barriers, to the difficulty in getting around when the roads are locked down, to the scariness of the police. Sometimes you’ll be able to find food. Sometimes you won’t. And sometimes, unless you’re extremely well-organised or are willing to splash out, you’ll end up staying in some total dumps.
Our Tour de France ground team brings a lot of experience, especially embodied in editor-in-chief Caley Fretz (16 Tours and counting, making the five-ish apiece from Jonny, Ronan, and myself seem quite pitiful). Caley handles the bookings, and has done for years – a fact for which we are grateful. He understands that sometimes you sacrifice comfort for convenience; that sometimes you need to drive a bit longer to a town where you might be able to find basic sustenance for dinner; that when you’re on the road for this long, you need to be fiscally responsible, and these things add up.
Which is a long preamble to say that we are staying in an … intriguingly diverse selection of hotels and Airbnbs this July. Per tradition, as a little amuse bouche, I’ve asked Caley to send over a couple of pictures per place so I can figure out what will be this Tour's straw to the camel’s back.
In the spirit of member-funded media, you may as well know what your money is sleeping in.
Grand Départ: Barcelona
The Tour de France kicks off in Barcelona, where locals are so aggrieved about Airbnb oversaturation that they have started saturating tourists with water pistols in protest. Fun!
This property skirts the squirts by apparently being a hotel (sort of) that blurs the lines with an apartment. Very crisply vacuumed carpet. Hanging thing for the door. Vibrant juice on the table. All seems well in the world. I arrive during week two where things are definitively less civilised, so I'm simultaneously sad I'll miss this one and happy for the rest of our Tour team.
Stage 3: Les Jardin des Gorges
The Tour makes French landfall on stage 3, where our team will stay in this gorgeous little garden of gorges. There's a pool, and a migraine-inducing bedroom. Apologies to whoever gets to sleep on the sofa at the foot of the bed like a dog, but at least the floor is tiled so you can slide around like Hugh Grant in Love Actually. Welcome to France!
Stage 4: Somewhere between Foix and Pau
This is the bread and butter of the Tour de France journalistic experience: an Ibis Budget that radiates arid heat from the pictures, has a tiny shower in a cupboard, and has a bunk bed over the other two beds. Austere prison chic at its very best. Not sure who'll get top bunk, but as grim as that sleeping position is, at least you won't wake up to a colleague's hand sleepily plonked on your face.
Did we do a good job with this story?
