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Spin Cycle: Brits abroad

AKA a dose of Rod Ellingworth nightmare fuel.

Jonny Long
by Jonny Long 25.08.2023 Photography by
Cor Vos, Tom Pidcock, Tibor Del Grosso, Tour de l'Avenir
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Spin Cycle is Escape Collective’s news digest, published every Monday and Friday. You can read it on this website (obviously) or have it delivered straight to your inbox. You can sign up here.


Hello!

Welcome back to Spin Cycle! Escape Collective’s news digest.

The idea of Brits abroad could, on the face of it, mean many things. It could simply mean British people not currently physically located in Britain. Unfortunately, the connotations are of the Gammon brigade (read: sunburned and usually racist Englishmen) sat about somewhere stinking hot eating good ol’ fashioned British food like pizza, curry and chicken chow mein. In a better world, it could mean the British riders about to embark on the Vuelta a España. But alas.

In the hopes of a renewal of national identity, we’ve decided that the following video of Tom Pidcock jumping off a speedboat is now the quintessential, dictionary definition of ‘Brits abroad’. The unbridled joy on his face that yes! He really is going to do it! He is going to launch himself from a boat hurtling across the water and it’s going to be capital-F FUN.

You see, for the most part in the UK, we don’t really do speedboats, or open water that’s not freezing cold. Or fun. So thank you, Tom Pidcock, for making Britain great again.

Rod Ellingworth’s nightmare fuel

“Can you imagine being Rod Ellingworth and just scrolling through Instagram and seeing Tom Pidcock doing this,” @reardupeloton captioned the below video of Tom Pidcock chucking himself off a speedboat while the driver steers with one hand and videos the moment with the other.

Not to be the boring police, but @reardupeloton has a point. For one of the stars of a sport, the idea when you’re off the bike is to be risk averse and wrap yourself in cotton wool until the next time you plunge into a peloton where you’ll get chopped, undertake daring descents and encounter more road furniture than you’d think possible, it’s not normally how we see cyclists spend their holidays.

“Work hard so you can play hard,” was how Pidcock described the video he uploaded to his own Instagram, a scene you’d be more likely to see played out by the more reckless football stars of the 1990s, where your celebrity and riches allowed you to live it large, rather than train, eat well and make sure you arrive in optimum condition for each competition.

We hope that Pidcock continues to fling himself off boats long into the future, as long as he’s doing it safely (we know nothing about boats or jumping off them, unsurprisingly). But also spare a thought for Rod Ellingworth, who has seen a number of star riders announce they’ll be leaving the Ineos Grenadiers at the end of this year and so will be even more reliant on the talents of Pidcock going forward. Expect to see a no-boat-jumping clause added to any future contracts.

“Okay, so we’re finally letting you wear your Red Bull helmet on the road,” we can imagine Ellingworth eventually pleading. “Just please, you have to remain on dry land at all times.”

Tour of the Future, beds of the Dark Ages

Welcome to the Early Celebration Hall of Fame, Radosław Frątczak, who thought he’d won stage 2 of the Tour de l’Avenir before being pipped to the line by Riley Pickrell. A classic of the genre, and while we feel bad for Frątczak, at least he’ll never do this again in his career. Meanwhile, we can all borderline-sadistically enjoy watching the replay of the incident on repeat, wincing every time, simply glad it’s not us in that position.

It could be worse, though, at least according to Dutchman Tibor Del Grosso, who was less than impressed with his accommodation the evening after stage 2. The place he was designated to rest his weary head and legs looks like a hardboard bunk bed adorned with bundles of oversized wet wipes to use as a duvet and pillow, the sort of place you would bed down for the night after being remanded in custody. “L’Avenir spoils us,” wrote Del Grosso.

The life of a cyclist is rarely glamorous and so maybe this is all part of a race that’s meant to prepare the peloton’s stars of tomorrow.

For discerning cyclist and coach, Jacob Tipper, the digs do seem par for the course to a man who has no doubt experienced his fair share of equally ropey accommodation.

“Isn’t this standard in French races?” he replied to the photo. “Bad accommodation, bad food, bad coffee, normally poor event coverage, but obviously excellent races. Most are in the same boat at the race, just deal with it.”

“After this evening and for the whole of the following days, you’ll be back in hotels,” the Tour de l’Avenir also replied to Del Grosso, before adding: “Enjoy your time trial!”

‘Well, here UCI, a big and heartfelt middle finger’

In response to finally being found guilty of an anti-doping rule violation dating back to January 2022, Toon Aerts released an impassioned statement, berating the UCI for the way in which his case was handled.

After covering the verdict last week, it’s only right to give space for Aerts’ rebuttal, and it’s a forceful one, declaring in no uncertain terms his innocence. It also leaves a lot to be said for the UCI’s process in anti-doping rule violation matters.

It’s long but powerful, and rarely do we hear such forceful responses to guilty verdicts, so we’ve decided to give you most of it directly from Aerts’ statement:

 “I wish to respond one last time to the statement of the UCI. I was working hard towards the first crosses. The feeling got better every week, the fun came back… And then suddenly I got the message that the verdict would follow a day later.

“I had to wait a year and a half for this verdict. In that period I may have typed the word Letrozole into Google 5,000 times…hoping to get to the missing puzzle piece….

“I was never invited by the UCI or given the chance to physically speak to anyone. Everything was done by mail or registered letter. We were always bound by tight deadlines to reply within a few days, but on the other hand we always had to wait weeks, sometimes months before we could receive anything back. Waiting, waiting, waiting…and meanwhile watching the races go by without my name being found anywhere near the results.

“I think people sometimes forget that riders are also just flesh and blood. It has also become clear to me in recent months that the ‘presumption of innocence’ simply does not exist here…

“Sometimes I was not enjoying myself. Someone who was only concerned with himself and the business. Lost faith in humanity a bit… Maybe because of everything I’ve become a bit of an asshole myself. My girlfriend told me several times that I wasn’t the Toon I used to be. But I still had to defend myself tooth and nail against the people and the authority who suddenly claim out of nowhere that I had been doping.

“Well, here UCI, a big and heartfelt middle finger. You could have made us the happiest people on earth last week. But then, who is Toon Aerts in the big cycling circus. I am now closing this rotten period here for myself and, together with my family and entourage, I am gradually trying to find some peace and joy in life again. I just hope my case rings a bell with everyone, because I’m already heartbroken for riders and athletes who could go through the exact same thing. My heart is already bleeding for Shari [Bossuyt] who is in the same situation.”

Feed Zone ?

? Lotto-DSTNY’s Tijl De Decker, who won the U23 Paris-Roubaix earlier this year, has sadly passed away after he was seriously injured in a training ride crash. We have the full story here.

? Jumbo-Visma’s Thomas Gloag will be out for the rest of the season after being hit by a driver during a training ride and sustaining a knee injury, for which he’s already undergone surgery.

? Femke Gerritse will leave Parkhotel Valkenburg for SD Worx next season.

? Sports director Allan Davis has been fired from Lotto Dstny after he sent unwanted DMs to a woman on Twitter.

? Novo Nordisk will continue to sponsor the ProTeam bearing its name until at least 2026.

? Lidl-Trek has announced they will field a development team next year, which will be led by former pro Markel Irizar.

? Lotto Dstny have broken open the contract of Arnaud De Lie and extended the 21-year-old’s deal until the end of 2026.

?? A sad ending to Thibaut Pinot’s last professional race in France at the Tour Poitou-Charentes, he crashed on the second stage and was unable to continue.

? Caleb Ewan is still assessing whether to remain at Lotto-DSTNY or find a new team for next year, his agent has told GCN.

? The fifth stage of the Tour de l’Avenir was forced to finish two hours earlier than originally planned due to the extreme heat in France where code red warnings were issued in 19 departments due to the high temperatures.

?? To raise money for those affected by bad flooding in Slovenia, Tadej Pogačar signed autographs and took selfies in Ljubljana’s Congress Square, donating €10 for every signature or photo. In the end, he signed 1,793 autographs and took 1,214 selfies with fans to raise €30,070, with another €7,484 donated by members of the public.

?‍♀️ Monday is a UK bank holiday, a day off to contemplate the ongoing Big Sad on Rainy Island, so the next edition of Spin Cycle will be landing in your inboxes on Tuesday.

Cycling on TV ?

Saturday 26th

Vuelta a España, Stage 1
GCN+ (12:20-15:05 ET/17:20-20:05 BST/02:20-05:05 AEST)

Tour of Scandinavia, Stage 4
GCN+ (10:00-12:00 ET/15:00-17:00 BST/00:00-02:00 AEST)

Renewi Tour, Stage 4
GCN+ (09:15-11:20 ET/14:15-16:20 BST/23:15-01:20 AEST)

Deutschland Tour, Stage 3
GCN+ (10:05-12:05 ET/15:05-17:05 BST/00:05-02:05 AEST)

Tour de l’Avenir, Stage 7b
GCN+ (09:30-11:30 ET/14:30-16:30 BST/23:30-01:30 AEST)

Mountain bike

UCI MTB World Cup – Pal Arinsal, Downhill Elite Women
GCN+ (06:45-07:50 ET/11:45-12:50 BST/20:45-21:50 AEST)

UCI MTB World Cup – Pal Arinsal, Downhill Elite Men
GCN+ (07:50-10:00 ET/12:50-15:00 BST/21:50-00:00 AEST)

UCI MTB World Cup – Pal Arinsal, XCC Elite Women
GCN+ (11:30-12:30 ET/16:30-17:30 BST/01:30-02:30 AEST)

UCI MTB World Cup – Pal Arinsal, XCC Elite Men
GCN+ (12:30-13:15 ET/17:30-18:15 BST/02:30-03:15 AEST)

Sunday 27th

Vuelta a España, Stage 2
GCN+ (08:30-12:00 ET/13:30-17:00 BST/22:30-02:00 AEST)

Tour of Scandinavia, Stage 5
GCN+ (06:30-18:45 ET/11:30-13:45 BST/20:30-22:45 AEST)

Renewi Tour, Stage 5
GCN+ (07:30-09:30 ET/12:30-14:30 BST/21:30-23:30 AEST)

Deutschland Tour, Stage 4
GCN+ (09:05-11:05 ET/14:05-16:05 BST/23:05-01:05 AEST)

Tour de l’Avenir, Stage 8
GCN+ (07:40-10:15 ET/12:40-15:15 BST/21:40-00:15 AEST)

Mountain bike

UCI MTB World Cup – Pal Arinsal, XCO U23 Women
GCN+ (02:55-04:25 ET/07:55-09:25 BST/16:55-18:25 AEST)

UCI MTB World Cup – Pal Arinsal, XCO U23 Men
GCN+ (04:55-06:25 ET/09:55-11:25 BST/18:55-20:25 AEST)

UCI MTB World Cup – Pal Arinsal, XCO Elite Women
GCN+ (06:30-08:45 ET/11:30-13:45 BST/20:30-22:45 AEST)

UCI MTB World Cup – Pal Arinsal, XCC Elite Men
GCN+ (09:00-11:15 ET/14:00-16:15 BST/23:00-01:15 AEST)

Monday 28th

Vuelta a España, Stage 3
GCN+ (08:30-12:00 ET/13:30-17:00 BST/22:30-02:00 AEST)

? Non-selection for a Grand Tour quote of the week ?

“I’m fucking sick of it”

The ultimate benefit of having a podcast? You can bitch about things when they don’t go your way (trust us, we are experts at this). Having not been selected for La Vuelta a España, Luke Rowe said on his and Geraint Thomas’ Watts Occurring podcast that he was “fucking sick of it…I went all in for this Vuelta, but I didn’t make the selection.”

After being informed of his non-selection, Rowe says he instead went out on the town that evening, returning home in the early hours before waking up with a hangover, but by the afternoon was ready to put the disappointment behind him and move on.

The Welshman isn’t the only disappointed Grenadier, however, with Pavel Sivakov, set to leave the team for UAE Team Emirates at the end of this season, also missing the cut.

“I think I had my best condition of the season. I feel even better than before the Giro d’Italia. I was notified by phone of my non-selection. That was complicated for me. I have been racing for Ineos Grenadiers for six years and everyone knows that I will leave after this season, but that is part of the sport,” Sivakov told L’Équipe.

“Sometimes we are just numbers, pawns. It shows once again that people within a team also have to make difficult decisions,” he added. “I have done so much work, I want to show something beautiful at the end of the year.”

And finally…

We told you on Monday that we’d endeavour to bring you more on the always-developing story of riders drinking beers big and small on podiums, and we already have an update. As well as a gigantic Erdinger in the aftermath of the Bemer Cyclassics, Mads Pedersen also received a small ship’s steering wheel. Cute.

? Send us yer laundry pics ?

“I took this photo at the Stafford (north) services on the M6 while on our way up to Glasgow,” writes Greg Genna, attaching the laundrette photo used in today’s edition. “There’s something about it that feels very…British. I can’t quite put my finger on what, though…”

For those who’ve never had the pleasure of a trip to UK bakery chain Greggs, fine purveyor of hot and cold baked goods, our eternal condolences.

As always, we are accepting your own laundry photos (especially ones with the doors open so we can Photoshop riders inside the drum) to star in Spin Cycle. Either send them via the Discord or shoot me an email: [email protected]

Until next time …

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