The Spin Cycle is the Escape Collective’s news digest, published every Monday and Friday. You can read it on this website (obviously) or have it delivered straight to your inbox. You can sign up here.
Welcome back to Spin Cycle! The Escape Collective’s news digest.
We’ll keep it brief as we’re only two episodes into the Netflix Tour series and apparently in the third episode we get to see Thibaut Pinot with his goats. As new fans are (hopefully) created by the show, the complexities of the sport will slowly soak in as they get to grips with cycling. But how do you explain, for instance, a motorway highway sign inspired by the most recent Giro d’Italia champion? Or a disgraced former pro still turning up to Masters competitions to pummel the opposition into the dirt like a child equipped with a magnifying glass and a bunch of ants? Or that the biggest name the sport has ever seen is now getting mistaken for dead astronauts by one of the children from Modern Family? Ah well, maybe it’s better not to know these things. Read on at your own risk.
A Roglitch in the matrix?
Not a glitch but in fact the latest campaign from the Slovenian highway authorities to try and get people to adhere to speed limits. The message for motorists to not accelerate like the 2023 Giro d’Italia champion is displayed in alternating Slovenian and English so that the message hopefully gets across to everyone … as long as they know who Roglič is, which apparently everyone in Slovenia does.
Seeing as we’re on the subject, we were sent a deep cut from the Roglič archives this week: the official music video for the Roglič anthem, which the Slovenian stars in himself. As well as Vueltas, a Giro and Olympic gold, Roglič can add pretending to play guitar while kicking out a leg to his CV. Now we just need rap metal to come back so he can collaborate with the Astana squad next off-season.
Lance Armstrong is a real f***ing astronaut
Looks like life on Mars is as tricky as life on Earth is for “disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong” (7News Adelaide’s words, not ours!)
The TV news channel was reporting on the fact the South Australia Film Corporation had been unaware Armstrong was involved in the US reality show Stars on Mars being filmed in the state’s outback. The grumbles stem from the show having received taxpayer funded support in order to showcase SA to the rest of the world, with the state government having already stumped up $1.5 million AUD to Armstrong to ride the Tour Down Under before he was outed as a drug cheat.
On the show things are going equally swimmingly, as Ariel Winter (Alex Dunphy from Modern Family) confused the Texan for the deceased first man on the moon. One rode a rocket, the other rode a bike powered by rocket fuel. Admittedly, an easy mistake to make.
“Lance Armstrong is a real f***ing astronaut. Google him. He is so cool,” Ariel exclaimed.
“I’d be dead,” Lance said about the case of mistaken identity, then admitting that it happens a lot. Let the good times continue to roll!
Feed Zone 🥖
🤧 Wout Poels could miss the Tour de France, his preparation impacted by an illness picked up at an altitude camp and already being forced to not line up for the Dauphiné.
💸 The Women’s Lotto Belgium Tour was cancelled at short notice due to budgetary and safety reasons.
✒️ Derek Gee has signed a huge new contract to keep him with Israel-Premier Tech until at least 2028. Felix Gall has also extended with Ag2r Citroën until 2025.
☮️ A demonstration during stage 3 of the Dauphiné saw the race briefly neutralised.
💨 Marcel Kittel has picked Jasper Philipsen as his current top Tour-bound sprinter.
🇨🇴 Nairo Quintana could be back racing this month for the Colombian national team at the Vuelta a Colombia (June 16-25).
🗣️ Jake Stewart and Lorenzo Fortunato are supposedly on Astana-Qazaqstan’s transfer wish list, according to Gazzetta dello Sport, while Cees Bol will sign a new two-year agreement with the team.
🙏 Greg LeMond has told Velo that he’s recovering well from leukemia.
🥇 Yentl Vandevelde took Tour de Tietema Unibet’s first-ever victory on stage 1 of the ZLM Tour.
🩺 A CT scan has revealed Tadej Pogačar’s broken bones are healing well but he’ll continue to use a hand brace for the time being.
🎓 EF Education-EasyPost will launch their own women’s team next year (it sponsors, but does not own, the current squad that bears EF’s name). It will be called EF Education-Cannondale.
🦍 Food delivery company Gorillas have reneged on its sponsorship agreement with Jumbo-Visma, Wielerflits reports, putting a €5 million hole in the team’s budget.
🇨🇭 Tom Pidcock, Michal Kwiatkowski, and Ben Tulett will all line up for Ineos Grenadiers at the upcoming Tour de Suisse, as will Antonio Tiberi for his new team Bahrain-Victorious.
Good luck out there mate
As pointed out by Dan Deakins, the ZLM Tour’s prologue saw an odd hot seat/start ramp combination. Presumably so the current occupier of the fastest time can wish each of his competitors well as they try to beat his time.
Winning medals to try and fill the void
Shout out to Alexandr Vinokourov who’s trying to keep the Bad Thoughts away by destroying the field in the Masters category at the Asian Cycling Championships.
Nothing against Masters racing at all – think it’s great, in fact – but a (let’s just say it) dodgy dude who won a bunch of pro bike races and also served a suspension for blood doping turning up to try and experience that winning feeling once again doesn’t hit quite right. Maybe we need to install a Slovenian motorway sign somewhere in Vinokourov’s vicinity …
However, as a British person, it would be great if Vino could let me know who his dentist is. Whiter than white teeth to go with his whiter than white … errr … shoes?
🚨 Lukewarm quote of the week 🚨
“The main goal is for him to get to the Tour as good as possible.”
That’s the big goal of Jumbo-Visma coach Mathieu Heijboer for Wout van Aert as the start line in Bilbao approaches, as told to In De Leiderstrui about the Belgian’s preparatory altitude camp. We’ll have to see whether that’s a better plan than getting him to the Tour having not packed any underpants in his suitcase, or holding a packet of chocolate hob nobs, but failing that arriving at the Tour in his best possible form will have to do.
Cycling on TV 📺
Critérium du Dauphine, Stage 7
GCN+ (07:10-09:10 ET/12:10-14:10 BST/21:10-23:10 AEST)
CIC-Tour Féminin Pyrénées – Stage 2
GCN+ (07:00-09:50 ET/12:00-14:50 BST/21:00-23:50 AEST)
Dwars door het Hageland
GCN+ (09:15-11:30 ET/14:15-16:30 BST/23:15-01:30 AEST)
ZLM Tour, Stage 3
GCN+ (09:55-11:25 ET/14:55-16:25 BST/23:55-01:25 AEST)
UCI MTB World Cup – Lenzerheide
Downhill: Elite Men’s and Women’s Semi-Final
GCN+ (04:30-06:35 ET/09:30-11:35 BST/18:30-20:35 AEST)
Downhill: Elite Men’s and Women’s Final
GCN+ (06:45-10:00 ET/11:45-15:00 BST/20:45-00:00 AEST)
Critérium du Dauphine, Stage 8
GCN+ (07:00-09:10 ET/12:00-14:10 BST/21:00-23:10 AEST)
Men’s Tour de Suisse, Stage 1
GCN+ (09:20-12:00 ET/14:20-17:00 BST/23:20-02:00 AEST)
CIC-Tour Féminin Pyrénées, Stage 3
GCN+ (06:30-09:35 ET/11:30-14:35 BST/20:30-23:35 AEST)
ZLM Tour, Stage 4
GCN+ (09:25-10:55 ET/14:25-15:55 BST/23:25-00:55 AEST)
GCN+ (09:40-11:45 ET/14:40-16:45 BST/23:40-01:45 AEST)
UCI MTB World Cup – Lenzerheide
Cross-country Olympic: U23 Women
GCN+ (02:25-03:50 ET/07:25-08:50 BST/16:25-17:50 AEST)
Cross-country Olympic: U23 Men
GCN+ (04:25-05:55 ET/09:25-10:55 BST/18:25-19:50 AEST)
Cross-country Olympic: Elite Women
GCN+ (06:30-08:50 ET/11:30-13:50 BST/20:30-22:50 AEST)
Cross-country Olympic: Elite Men
GCN+ (09:00-11:30 ET/14:00-16:30 BST/23:00-01:30 AEST)
Men’s Tour de Suisse, Stage 2
GCN+ (09:20-12:00 ET/14:20-17:00 BST/23:20-02:00 AEST)
Spare a thought for the Tour de France riders who will get to relive memories they’d probably rather not while watching the Netflix series, and be reassured that millions of people around the world will be able to too!
Corrections corner 😖✒️
Apologies to French member Jules Alain for our mangled Frenglish in Monday’s edition. We were just trying to get into the spirit of things pre-Tour. A big big désole heading right your way.
Primes (for helpful members) 🏆
Thanks to Nathaniel Faulkner who gave us the heads up on both the Roglič music video and motorway sign with the caveat that he couldn’t provide us with an image on the highway because “I was driving in a rain storm.” Not much we love more than some exemplary sensible driving.
And merci once again to Alex Graves for another laundry photo, this time from Croatia.
“A laundromat in Poreč, Croatia, that a friend and I stopped at while bike packing to do some badly-needed laundry. Probably the cleanest and most functional laundromat I’ve even been in!”
As always, we are accepting your own laundry photos to star in the Spin Cycle. Either send them via the Discord or shoot me an email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Friday vibes 🔊
by Mark Steinwachs
Song: The Phoenix
Artist: Fall Out Boy
What is it: Four minutes of fun with this one. It builds, it breaks, it will shred you. Let this song carry you along. Dig when it hits. Breathe when it breathes. Crush your pace as the kick drum drives you forward.
Quality Cycling Lyric (QCL): Strike a match and I’ll burn you to the ground.
You can listen to it here.
Until next time …
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